Stumped

 There’s a perfectly good tree stump a few houses down. I’m gonna try and bribe my Significant Artist with some food to see if he’ll roll it home later. It looks like it’s just about the right dimension to sit comfortably on while ‘playing’ the erhu...it came two days ago :) 

  The morin khurr’s been here about a month and a half, but it was shipped to a different address—so I’m waiting for a Wildebeest to deliver it.

So far, it doesn’t sound like I’m strangling cats at all! I also had it tuned quite well—inner string D4, outer string A4–on the first go. That’s impressive for a functional person... but I’m partially deaf and can’t feel vibrations as much due to nerve damage. 

I had surgery to correct it, but I still have difficulty and wasn’t wearing my hearing aid while tuning. I suppose  it was all that time I spent trying to get to the Selenetic Age that really helped...

I also had a thought a few weeks back—although the erhu is a much better choice for me over a violin price wise and because of various disabilities, there’s just a slight problem. Since my wrists are a bit floppy due to the Ehlers-Danlos, I’ll probably have to get a wrist brace. Holding the bow is like holding hands, except there’s no way to compensate for the joint laxity. So, I guess after I get a wrist brace I’ll get to experience what it’s like to hold hands like everyone else. Thanks erhu! 

AAA!

 One of the Wildebeests would like you to know the following: You’re not stupid! Anytime anybody calls such a name, YOU—yes, you—despite everything you’ve ever done, can prove them wrong! You do have that card particular membership card, though...right? 

Oh, c’mon now! The one that you NEVER think is gonna cover your boneheaded mistakes—that are never actually that bad, and everyone else has already made? Yeah, that card. If you have it, then you’re not stupid! But if you don’t have it, you’re an idiot.

If you haven’t figured it out yet, we’re talking about AAA here. The Wildebeest locked his car keys in the trunk and ran down the list of possibilities including his solution for last time, calling the police. 

Neither the blue coats nor the fire department had the necessary equipment, and suggested a locksmith. The phone calls went on and the price tag went up. Finally, I asked what I thought would have been an obvious question, ‘Do you have AAA?’

He did...that’s what they’re there for folks! 

They came out in under an hour and the keys were rescued.   

Where were you at precisely 2am?!

Uhh...I was at home. It was there that I made the discovery that I have really weird knuckles. Cuz, you know, I was drawing topo maps on my hands...

No cats were harmed during the making of this ‘music’

The wildebeests have gotten me a Morin Khurr!!! Aka, Mongolian Horsehead fiddle. I’ve been throat singing for years, which is actually going about things backwards, traditionally—you start with the Morin Khurr for 10yrs, then you throat sing.

Oh well, I’ve never been one for conforming....

While I’m waiting for it to arrive, I’ve also decided to get myself an Erhu, aka Chinese violin.
They’re actually quite similar in technique, but not as expensive. That’s why I brought myself the Erhu ;)   Although, price wise if you’re looking for a decent practice violin (which I was), a Morin khurr will cost about the same.

So, why the sudden interest in stringed things? Well, it’s not sudden at all. I’ve been wanting to get all thematic and get my Holmes on for years. However, the few occasions I’ve had to pick up a violin it’s not sounded god awful, I’m sure that’s no safeguard against any serious pursuit sounding like I’m strangling cats. Bearing that in mind, do I sound like someone who gives a ‘flying farnack’?

Unfortunately, because I have trouble with my neck and shoulders, hearing loss, and also holding things... I knew that I’d never be able to play a violin. At least not in the traditional sense ;)
Although, as I mentioned previously, for the same price as a decent practice violin, I could get a Morin khurr.

For me, that sealed the deal. It can be played sitting or standing, only has two strings, and I’ve researched the heck out of the parts...cuz they might be a little harder to find here. But, Local music shoppe is willing to help and showed me parts that could be modified. I stopped in last year to ask about parts and also talk about another love of mine..yaybahars....

Anywho, so yeah that’s coming :)  And the Erhu which is similar but much smaller body (almost like a really long ladle)—so we’ll sound amazing to our neighbors!
Also, as a surprise I got a didgeridoo for the wildebeest with sleep apnea.
I have no idea what kind of ensemble we’ll have if you throw in the sassy space organ...but that’s how it goes around here at the pizza collective

That’s sound of the men working on...

We here at ‘The Pizza Collective’ —I don’t even remember remember how the wildebeests came up with that one—aren’t exactly musically inclined...but we’ve had some exposure and aren’t god awful or tone deaf either.

I used that to make a solid case for scavenging an electric organ we found.
*Somehow* we got into the car ok without removing the legs.
However, I leave the wildebeests alone with the thing, come back, and find it flipped completely over  and they’re freaking out cuz they can’t get it out of the car... and this is AFTER I took the legs off!

So, they’ve got this thing so it’s laying on an angle cuz the foot pedal is wedged under the seat, but the rest of it is nearly flat...ON THE FREAK’N  KEYS!!!
                                                    *face palm*
They’re all flustered and want to stop there, and I very firmly, but gently reminded them that we could get by with the now missing sliders, and newly freed foot pedal, but *really* needed the keyboard to not get fucked up.

So, my blind ass wobbles over and reminds them how the laws of physics work. We get the thing just so we can shut doors of the poor Honda, and the wildebeests wander off the bed...at approximately 7 or so in the morning.

At around noon we all went out and tried again. After I got tired of being the foreman, it took me about five minutes to assess what was happening, explain the physics of it, get everyone in position, and then a few more minutes to make it happen.

And now we have a ‘sassy space organ’! She’s not perfect, but makes really cool sounds (some even unprompted), and most importantly, has a perfectly tuned scale...also she won’t catch on fire. Always a plus.

Initially, I’m thinking ‘Oh! Ear training, yay!’
But, this oh, this gets much more interesting....

I Swear! I’ve not had a drop!

One of the Wildebeests (household inhabitants) has sleep apnea. So, he’s given up drinking awhile ago. But, with pubs and what not  reopening, he’s just gonna order a soda...which he already drinks plenty of anyhow...and then we’ll just start singing ‘Go for a Soda’.

So, yesterday Significant artist and I surprised him with some O’Douls— so we could all celebrate what the world has come to! :)

I am scavenger, and I thrive...

Scored half a case of organic baby arugula this morning! Gotta *LOVE* freecycle! It’s a really cool site I found out about in college, and you never know what’ll turn up on a post. You can request stuff too.

Just sign up for your area, and you’re good to go! Everything’s free! But... you have handle the pickup yourself. So, have fun with that to-scale model of the Starship Enterprise

I Saved a Bird!

Yup! We had a bird get into the porch today.
I was running outside to meet Awesome guy ‘cuz he ran to the pharmacy for me, and as I’m shutting the kitchen door...
THWACK!!! THUD!!! THUMP THUMP *rustle rustle* WHOOSH!!! THUNK.

And then like a potato canon at an astronomy convention, a juvenile robin—under the influence of some fermented elderberries, no doubt (and I’m talk’n like some good shit, yo!)—shot up in a plume of down, and  proceeded  to whack into various things.

So, I left the outside door open and went to grab MY drugs from Awesome guy, who was waiting in the driveway for me. We talked for a few minutes and then I wobbled back to the porch.

The robin was still there, and had wedged itself between a picture frame and the windowsill in ways that defied how living things should bend; much like a toddler. I made my way inside, set down the goods, slapped on a pair of nitrile gloves (er’body’s got ‘em now these days...), and grabbed the big ‘ol bug net.

After moving a few things out of the way to get to the far window—and some cheerleading from my Significant artist—, I scooped up the  undoubtably concussed avian with the bug net. It took a couple tries to get the critter into a position where I could safely support it with my hands, but we got there.

The bird appeared un injured and healthy, so I walked it to the porch steps, and then...whooosh!!!
Off it went :)

The Eyes Have it...

So, I had an additional visit with Dr.Eyeballs yesterday. Don’t worry, I can’t see any worse than I normally can. He just wanted to run a test that was doable in office that no one’s tried yet.
Unfortunately, we weren’t able to get all the data needed. However, we went over some names of folks for TMJ and eyeball/brain stuff and he put through a referral for me to another eyeball guy.

And, it turns out Dr.Eyeballs knows about my brain being fucked up, and how the medical community is split on the matter and doesn’t know much either. Which sucks, since his answers were the most concise, given how rare and variable the condition is.

Unfortunately, he’s just an eyeball dude and I have a  menagerie of zebras

OMG, TMJ!

Yes, it’s been a while...and yes, there’s a lot happening in the world. But, I’m not gonna talk about any of that; not because—frankly, we’re sick of hearing about it all—but because it’s my feck’n blog and I’m gonna talk about baby food, damnit!

That’s right! The world’s gone to shit, and imma talk about food baby! Uh, I mean...baby food...
‘How-come-why-for’, you ask?
Cuz my mum reads my blog, and TMJ doesn’t go away—‘Hello! This is your Ehlers-Danlos speaking! I’m here with your arthritis in tow. We’d like to inform you that your POTS and migraines are in cahoots with us too (gee, thanks)! However, Incase you didn’t get the memo, we’d like you to know that the evil master mind is has been in your head this whole time!
Yours,
- Leukoencephalopathy with Vanishing White Matter’

Fuck.My.Brain.  This dx just makes nutrition EVEN more important! Which, I had no idea was possible. So, what does one ‘eat’ when you can’t eat?

•Baby cereal!!!!
I LOVE Gerber rice baby cereal. I just mix it with water to the consistency that I can handle (from ‘mashed potato’ to ‘straw slurpable’), and I’m good to go

•V8
Great for POTS, high in sodium

•Instant mashed potatoes
Add broth/bullion for extra sodium, ‘butta’ for calories, soy milk for protein

•Broth, veggie soup, tomato soup
Add soy milk

•Pudding
Add soy milk or use tofu

•Baby food
Get the wee jars/pre made stuff, or make your own. Canned veg work fine

•Avocados
•Soy milk
•Tofu
•Gurt (soy, cow, whatever)
•Keifier (they do make a vegan one—coconut or soy I think)
•Açaí juice (there is one brand that’s betterer—might be Sambazon, not sure. I’ll definitely post the better brand) Great for mixing chalky protein powder

Those are just some ideas. If you can do Ensure, Vigor Aide, or Boost, those are good options too. There’s a host of vegan (and not) protein shakes, supplements, smoothies, and meal replacements out there. So, you’re not limited even with dietary restrictions. I’ve made my own blend with NOW (forgot if that’s the yellow pea or the brown rice flour one—but you need BOTH if you can do rice and pea flour). Svelte is another great vegan option that has a flavour or two I can have. Happy slurping!