AAA!

 One of the Wildebeests would like you to know the following: You’re not stupid! Anytime anybody calls such a name, YOU—yes, you—despite everything you’ve ever done, can prove them wrong! You do have that card particular membership card, though...right? 

Oh, c’mon now! The one that you NEVER think is gonna cover your boneheaded mistakes—that are never actually that bad, and everyone else has already made? Yeah, that card. If you have it, then you’re not stupid! But if you don’t have it, you’re an idiot.

If you haven’t figured it out yet, we’re talking about AAA here. The Wildebeest locked his car keys in the trunk and ran down the list of possibilities including his solution for last time, calling the police. 

Neither the blue coats nor the fire department had the necessary equipment, and suggested a locksmith. The phone calls went on and the price tag went up. Finally, I asked what I thought would have been an obvious question, ‘Do you have AAA?’

He did...that’s what they’re there for folks! 

They came out in under an hour and the keys were rescued.