My brain sucks, but it's never dull!

I get frustrated with myself a lot. It's hard for me to do simple things and that gets me, so I'm venting. It's also challenging to convey what's going on sometimes, leading to even more frustration. I've been told that I have a unique way of describing things. Well, let's see...

I have synesthesia. It's not the super cool kind where you can identify notes of music by colour (although I'd be perfectly fine with that one!), but I wouldn't give mine up for anything. Even though it can suck. So, what's it like?

Imagine that you've just been served this amazing dish of food. You go to dig in, but can't. It smells too 'green' and that smell happens to make you emotionally distraught. So, you try to go for something else. That's much nicer-- this colour smells ok. Alright, let's eat some! 

You put the food in your face, and immediately reach for a napkin. Why? Well, the shape tastes all wrong! It's too angular and you prefer food that tastes rounder. Let's try some of the water to wash the offensive shape away. Ugh! That's no good either--the texture isn't right. All you wanted to do was go out for a bit and enjoy the day, but now you have to go home or at least somewhere that's socially acceptable to not have pants and shoes on.

Ok, let's get in the car. There are nice things in there, like your toothbrush which calms you down. And your mummy bag that you can have on instead of pants. Also, you can recline a bit and you brought Mr.Bucket cuz POTS sucks and you forgot your Nuun tablets. So, you get comfy and put the radio on. And you proceed to trip balls...

The music feels amazing! The physical reaction you get from this song is incredible and you begin to float away after a few songs. Except the music changes and the pleasant chills and tears have given way to fear and now you're being pulled away from yourself. That's easy to manage though and you just change the song. 

You start thinking about this and that on the way home. Suddenly you get a text from a friend that's filling out a job application. She can't remember various details about work history and wants your help. Why? Your synesthesia also effects how you remember things too. Your brain pretty much has some crossed wires that allow you to associate memories with points in time...in extreme detail.

So, yeah...its pretty much like that