Migraine Check-in

Ok, so I forgot to post on Tuesday about my neurology appointment. I was preoccupied with trying to sleep and then trying to figure out what 'Ambien Me' did with my hair brush, headphones, rescue meds, and half a jar of grape jelly. Anywho...

The eyeball stabbing came back, but it's not as bad as it was, and the dystonia seems ok. The migraines are still constant, but I'm not miserable. The fluid still pours out of my nose, and nobody's done an MRI. Still using the rescue meds, and the Zofran/Diet Coke/bucket combo. Dr.New-Neuro was pleasantly surprised that I had no side effects from the first round of injections, and wants to see me in two months for the next round. I think it's a good idea to give it a go, symptoms can  take a few rounds to subside.

This is also kind of a shout out/thank you to health care workers: you guys put up with a ton of bullshit and still choose to do your damnedest to try and help people. And often times don't get thanked enough, especially those in emergency medicine. So, I try not to give you guys a hard time cuz if I don't want to deal with my crap, then I can't imagine that you would either.

It's important for me to get this out there. A few months ago, Dr.New-Neuro's office advised me to go to the ER. This never occurred to me-- I had been previously advised to just curl up with my bucket and since I wasn't bleeding profusely, I didn't think that was where I needed to be. But I went begrudgingly, and I had to go by ambulance for reasons that I won't get into. Let's just say that with my migraines I need to be near a bucket, throne, shower, and washing machine.

After a few trips, I felt like that was a major waste of time and resources for me to just be miserable when I could be miserable at home for free. I called Dr.New-Neuro's office and told them so. Then I asked to try a medication that we weren't sure I could safely take, since that's pretty much what the ER wanted to give me anyhow. Turns out I can tolerate it just fine, and got shuffled off to the ER...again.

One day when the call went out, an extra vehicle showed up with the ambulance. One of the EMTs recognized my address and wasn't even on call. He just happened to hear it on the scanner and came to make sure I was ok. I don't remember your name,  but you are awesome and I want you to know that I am making progress. Seriously dude (and fellow medical professionals), THANK YOU!!!

This is pretty stupid...

I have a state id issued through the RMV (or DMV, whatever it is in my state) that basically catalogues me as a blind person. It is a VALID STATE ISSUED ID. However, I am constantly having issues with places accepting it. There is a statement on the back that says a place can decline to accept the id, but only under the circumstances that they would turn away any other type of id-- driver's license, passport, military id, etc.

The thing comes with it's own disclaimer and seal from the  governor, the only thing it doesn't have is a barcode. So I can't buy a money order, or Sudafed, or alcohol. It's frick'n stupid! Let me at least get my own beer, you know damn well I ain't driving home

Could have been a fever dream...

For some reason, my dystonia flares up in the spring. I tend to lose my voice and/or my neck will lock up for about a week. This has been happening since I was a kid and I would end up missing school a lot. As much as that sucked, those days ended up influencing my life in unexpected ways. Since I couldn't do much I was stuck with watching tv. I happened to be the weird kid that was always playing outside and never watched tv.

But, thanks to those days nine-year-old-me was introduced to 'Mork and Mindy' and 'Blazing Saddles'. Sure I was a little young, but boy did that beat the really weird kids programmes that were on at the time!  Thanks to dystonia, I was introduced to....
'TELETUBBIES'.

I was pretty sure I was hallucinating at the time, but nope! The weird bright creatures dancing around with a sentient vacuum cleaner and the baby in the sun were totally real...

Allergies

Yesterday I had my monthly visit with Dr.Heart-Strings. I grumbled about the usual stuff and we tried to come up with a plan. However, some of my food allergies got worse so I thought it was worth mentioning. This is how the conversation went:

Me: 'Yeah, the dairy thing isn't any better. I ended up getting really sick cuz it messed up my immune system. I get scary upper airway issues from it now.'

Dr.Heart-Strings: 'You know they can work on that by continually introducing it.'

Me: 'Yeah, but it's gotten worse since I've tried that. I ate something bad and then decided since I already messed up my diet, I'd have some pizza. That didn't go very well. And, yes I know- I'm an idiot.'

Dr.Heart-Strings: 'It has to be done GRADUALLY!'

Me: 'I know...'

Dr.Heart-Strings: 'I have a patient who was allergic to aspirin and he really needed it. So, he went and did this thing where they slowly introduced him to it over the course of 6 or 7 months. He's ok now, which is good since he's my accountant.'

Me: 'He's your accountant? No wonder he needed the aspirin...'

Mondegreens

Ok, so you won't find the now infamous 'There's a bathroom on the right' or the late great Hendrix's 'kiss this guy' in this post. I never hear those things anyhow. No, these entries are all me. Enjoy!

I hear: 'We'll have lemonade!' During Rhapsody of Fire's 'Holy Thunderforce'. The real lyrics are 'We shall have their names'.

'Hypnotic creatures read my mind' and 'They told us not to sing, so we prepared a band!' from AFI's 'Greater than 84'

'Take the last train to Costco'

The Monkies, 'Last train to Clarksville'

'Touch me on my butt'

Shaggy, 'Boombastic'

'And with a token butter bean'

Peter Murphy, 'I'll fall with your knife'

'Everybody's got eczema'

L.L.  Cool Jay, 'Head sprung'

'Hold me close and tie me down, Sir'

Elton Jhon, 'Tiny dancer'

'I'll never lechuga' (Spanish word for lettuce)

Third Eye Blind, 'Never let you go'

'Like a pack of wild desperadoes running from the mailman'

Bad Religion, 'Stranger than fiction'

St.Patrick's Day seitan

I am unfortunately stuck to vegan options due to really stupid food allergies. So, here's a decent seitan recipe for something akin to the traditional fare of corned beef and cabbage. Happy St.Patrick's Day!

St.Patrick's Day seitan

Seitan
Washington's brown broth
Cabbage
Carrots
Onions
Potatoes
Bay leaves
Mustard seeds
Pepper corns
Coarse ground prepared mustard
Newcastle beer
White vinegar
Seeded rye bread

Chop up the veg and throw in a pot with about two cups of the broth. Add the seitan, bread, spices, 3-5 bay leaves, 2 slices of the bread, about 1/3 cup of the beer, and a teaspoon of the prepared mustard. Boil for about 5min, then taste. Adjust the taste with the vinegar if needed. You can also add more prepared mustard or beer if necessary. Boil until the veggies are cooked throughout.

Mystery basket challenge...

If you've ever seen 'Iron Chef' or 'Chopped', then you're familiar with the mystery basket challenge. Frequently, that's a bit what it's like in my kitchen. A whole bunch of ingredients that one wouldn't normally combine to make something with, and about 20min to come up with something edible. Such was the genesis of 'meatball chili'.

I had just moved into a new apartment and wasn't completely settled yet. There was technically food in the house, but nothing that really went together. Just ingredients really. Some things in cans or packages, and enough spices to make the Silk Road traders jealous.

So, I opened the fridge and poked around then did the same with the freezer. There were cans of tomatoes with green chilies. There were cans of beans. And in the freezer, there were meatballs.
Hungry carnivores were on their way so I had to come up with something fast.

I grabbed my phone and made sure no one was adverse to chili. There was some confusion since the normal things that go into chili weren't around. I said not to worry, and no one objected. I present the results of that day, meatball chili...

Meatball Chili

1 package of meatballs
1 can tomatoes and green chilies
Cumin
Garlic powder
Onion powder
One or two cups of Broth or bullion (Washington's brown broth is great!)
1 onion
Sesame oil
Butter, oil, or something like that

Sauté the meatballs in the butter or whatever. While they're doing their thing, dice the onions. When the meatballs are evenly browned, take them out and put the onions in. Chop up the meatballs and add back to the pot when the onions are clear. Sauté them together for a few minutes, then add the can of tomatoes, beans, and broth. Start with one cup, add the second if needed. Simmer everything together and add the spices and a drizzle of the sesame oil. After a few minutes, taste it. If it tastes more Italian then like chili, add more of the cumin and a teaspoon of white vinegar to balance out the flavour. It's done once the taste is balanced out.

This can be made veggie/vegan by substituting the meatballs and butter for the equivalent

For the vole unwelcome in my home

Oh little fucker, you'll soon be dead.
I tell you that I'll have your head!
How can such wee voles vex so?
I can't see you, but hear you though.
Across the floor and walls (I think),
though in Mount Everest in the sink-
there is evidence of you!
Menacing vole, I know your poo.

But what to do? No felines here
to slash you up from tail to ear.
You hate the traps, or love them so
since you take the bait and go
A skittering and shitting too.
Oh how I've grown so sick of you.

This madness has to end you know.
Even though outside there's snow.
I am begging, please just go!
It's colder here inside daft thing,
 and with you do diseases bring.
I'll have your head yet, just wait and see!
Oh wait you can't, since dead you'll be.

Things that happen around my house

I once saw a thing about a cardiologist that developed POTS, and was describing how things have changed around his house. Oh boy, can I relate to that! But in addition to all that, there are some other things that happen, which may or may not be relatable. Such as...

It's not unusual to hear singing in my kitchen or bathroom between the hours of 12 and 3am.
Sometimes it's throat singing

There's usually a bag of some sort of snack that's high in sodium hanging around. In every room

'There are spices in the bathroom...', as my landlord put it. Specifically, cayenne pepper, and nutmeg. There's also baking soda, vinegar, and charcoal

Any surface that is flat becomes a table

Arguments typically happen in the bathroom...with inanimate objects

There is a lack of furniture. So much so, that I've had people get ticked off and not believe me. The smart ones bring their own chairs, buckets, and milk crates. And they also double as tables

Just about everything else that's edible goes in the fridge

There's only ever water to drink. Unless someone wants tea or 'cowboy coffee'

Objects in the house have been known to shift around with the tides

Tea cups = shot glasses

Anything about the size of a bucket or larger becomes a trash bin

My broom sees more snow than dirt

There's almost always a box of gloves and baby wipes around

Things tend to be multipurpose

Toilet paper is for guests

My Hero

I present Gary Botting, a personal hero of mine...(couldn't get a pic to load)

This guy is the author of a rather a lot of books, plays, and essays. He is a Canadian extradition law specialist who just happens to have had an early international start as a journalist. All that is impressive enough-- and there's so much more! 

Seriously, you gotta read up on this guy--but what makes him my hero is his work with saturniid moths. The most familiar of these critters is probably the luna moth. There's a very short list of things that I love as much as saturniids* even though moth feet freak me out. I know that sounds weird, especially since creepy crawly things don't freak me out at all. I can hold spiders, centipedes, beetles, and butterflies just fine. But for some reason, furry little moth feet weird me out.

Anywho, the reason why I dig this guy so much is (as I mentioned) because of his work with saturniids. 

He is THE GUY who is responsible for the reclassification of the Polyphemus moth that is still recognized today. Gary Botting did this by crossing a North American Polyphemus moth with giant silk moths from Japan and India by surgically transplanting the female moths pheromone sacs, WHEN HE WAS IN HIS EARLY TEENS! He won numerous science awards, and began touring North America giving presentations on the subject. This lead to tours in Asia, and eventually his career in journalism.

I suspect he's a very busy guy, but I'd love to shake his hand.

 Since he's written over 40 books (including plays and poetry), I'm sure the talking book library has some of his works, which I will report back on. Anyhow, he's among my personal heroes and I just thought I'd share a bit of awesome :)

*Things I love as much as saturniids:

toads, and bioluminescent mushrooms